Masturbate

If the title annoys you, shoo shoo shoo! Scram.




Anyway I read this news today and feel like sharing it.

A SINGAPOREAN died of heart failure after his penis became stuck in a soft drink bottle, reported Sin Chew Daily and China Press.

The incident happened when the 77-year-old man used the bottle to masturbate.

China Press reported that the senior citizen got his private part into the bottle and only sought help after his penis could not be dislodged from the bottle despite trying various ways such as applying soap water.

Doctors tried to alleviate the man’s suffering by cutting the bottle below the neck but to no avail because by that time, the skin around the penis had started to become inflamed, causing him to be unable to urinate.

His misadventure later led to other medical complications causing his death.

I was laughing when I finished reading the first sentence of the news. Anyway he should be proud that his thing is at least ABLE to stuck in the bottle. Then after I know it was a 77 years old man, I don't know how to react, pity or continue laughing?

I heard a lot stories about masturbation when I was in highschool, thanks to my friends especially *P eanut, Jelly and, Jam*( U KNOW WHO YOU ARE DON'T DENY), anyway, I remember this story that one of them told me that a girl used a cucumber to masturbate and in the end she ended in the emergency room because the cucumber broke into half and half of it was inside her vagina. Then the other one is they stuff hand phone or something in, holy mama. Imagine people calling you and the ring tone came from the V.




Sigh ok I need to go back to my works, 3 more weeks of hell. D:

My other self

I can be a complete mess if I want. Like, never comb my hair for more than a week, stack my laundries for a month, papers and pencils everywhere, unwashed cups and plates on the table and everything. I never feel I am capable to take care of myself. I can't live on my own. My mom is right.But in the end of the day, I will start to clean up my messy table so I can find my keyboard and mouse, wash all my clothes, fold all the clean one, ironed them sometimes, and keep it to the place it has to be placed. Then throwing out all the rubbish in the room, comb my hair and clean my floor. Usually this happen only when I'm forced to or when he's coming to my place. Instead of munching Chipsmore, I will plan a really good homecook meal just for him, stock up some food in case he gets hungry during the stay. Through out the whole time being with him, I do things that I don't usually do, and never imagine that I will be doing. I feel comfortable with him around, and I wish, that he will always be around. It's so hard for me to live alone. I need you. Sigh.

Stay away from me if you are one of them

I HATE PEOPLE SCREAMING AT ME FOR NO REASONS!!!

1) I hate it when they use this kind of tone like " YES, I WANT IT TO BE LIKE THIS AND IT HAS TO BE LIKE THIS " without ever consider how will I think.

2) I hate it when I ask people things nicely and they replied me in some fucking rude way like " If you don't like it, LEAVE it. "

3) I hate it when people feel everything I done for them is a MUST, it's something that I SHOULD do.

4) Friends do not find each other when only you need something from me.

5) I hate people who stood me up last minute.

6) I hate people who never contact me in a few thousand years and when we meet each other again, they act like they know me a lot. FUCK AWAY.

7) I hate people who thinks that if i never lose my temper, IT'S ALWAYS AN OKAY.

8) I hate people who just think about themselves, no matter what we do in "team" there is no " you" and "me". Which, I have to follow everything they planned, although it's a "team" thing.

9) I hate people who never ask me out and then when the event ended, asked me why I did not join them. FUCK OFF.

10) I hate people who change plan last minute and expect people to keep up with them.

11) I hate inconsiderate people, never understand how other people feels when they do/ say something.

FUCK OFF MY LIFE.

Good Luck

To those who are going to die from heart attack after check their STPM results soon.

ALL THE BEST.